STD's review of Canton Buffet

Location: Canton Buffet

Date: 7/29/10

Time: 11:15 to 12:15

Attendees: Rage, Deuce, Pete, Neal, Lissa, Bill, Byron, Jim

Price: $8.60 with water and a $1 tip

Hefty Pete: Dude, $6.95 is a hella good deal. With water and a tip mine came out to $8.60.

Double Deuce: Yeah, $6.95 is a good deal, but not if it makes you drop a horrendous deuce in the afternoon. We’ll have to see how this one plays out during the remainder of the day.

Rage: Speaking of deuce. My stomach is killing me. But that might not be from the lunch… Yeah it is a pretty good deal. There was a real good variety of a lot of different Chinese food and some extras in there. Like the rolls lathered with butter, which were yummy, but I did get a ‘that is something I have never seen someone get at a Chinese buffet’ comment. No matter, it was taaaasty.

Hefty Pete: The general tso’s was actually a little bit spicy. Some places it just tastes like ketchup.

Double Deuce: By spicy do you mean “filled with bones”. The one turn-off for me during the meal was seeing Hefty Pete’s mom walk in, er I mean, biting down on a piece of the general’s chicken that had a bone in it. I don’t know who General Tso is, but I have a bone to pick with him.

Rage: I too had an experience with bones and actually a nice chunk of fatty meat with the General Tso’s, but the taste almost beat out those two unfortunate occurrences.

Hefty Pete: Sushi was subpar, but I didn’t vomit.

Double Deuce: Sushi + buffet = MEGA FAIL. I’m not touching that with a 10 foot chop stick.

Rage: Yeah not so sure about the sushi, but it looked presentable… well once you found that they had it. It was stuck in the back corner.

Hefty Pete: I managed to eat at least as much meat as I did with the 5 guys quad burger.

Double Deuce: Yeah Hefty Pete, you do like meat in your mouth

Rage: I second that one. Meat lover.

Hefty Pete: At one point, I had more meat in my mouth than Deuces mom on “buy one get 7 free” happy ending day.

Double Deuce: Hey don’t talk about my mom that way! She has to work hard for the money – cue the music anyone???

Rage: ‘So you better treat her right…’ [cough] anyways, yes your mom is a whore, but that has nothing to do with the food unless we count the fact that she eats as much as there was on the buffet in one sitting, and trust me there was a lot.

Hefty Pete: We’ve been back for an hour, and I have yet to shit my pants, which is nice.

Double Deuce: I think I’m right there with you Hefty, I haven’t had any feelings of….oh aw no…wait a minute…..Oh no…It’s Doo Doo Baby!

Rage: Yeah see my comment above. Stomach is still rumbling. Uh… uh…. ahhh.

Hefty Pete: Did you try the chicken wings?

Rage: No chicken wings for me. Neal had some and said they were tasty but very spicy. He was pretty sure it was teriyaki flavored. He and Bill devoured a bunch of them. Kind of like how Grant’s mom devours portions of buildings in a single bite.

Hefty Pete: The jello looked kind of questionable. Who eats jello for lunch anyway?

Rage: Hey now, I looooved the jello. It was a nice desert. Don’t knock it.

Hefty Pete: Didn’t bother with the ice cream, maybe next time.

Double Deuce: I have to say I didn’t try many of the varieties of food as I was entranced by the lighted photo board of a water fall that was actually moving!

Rage: Yeah, I wanted to get some ice cream with a to-go box but I knew you guys would judge me, so I decided to not get any.

Hefty Pete: Apparently Rage was born in the year of the cock. Maybe the year of the tiny cock!! BURN!

Double Deuce: Sick burn! Does anyone smell that stench from the bathroom? It appears the food may have run straight through someone.

Rage: That is right I was born in the year of the cock. When were you born? The year of the monkey?

Hefty Pete: No, I was born in the year of “Power”. And by power, I mean, your mother is a whore.